Beautiful

“Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Enough

There is no problem too big.
God is more than enough and His love is enough to carry us through.

This week my family and friends in Jakarta are experiencing severe floods. It was so bad that in some areas it reached up to 4 meters. This week also I heard about my friend who underwent an abusive marriage and had to end it in divorce. Another dear friend has been trying for years for a baby and today she got the news that there was tumor in her cervix. Problems, challenges, trials and hardships are a part of us. God says that trials and tribulations we will face but He has promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us.

His grace, His love is enough.
I too am experiencing challenges and pressures, but this verse came to mind today, “Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God” -Psalm 20:7

With Him I can do all things, including going through these hardships.

Control or None Thereof

I am currently reading Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero.

The book talks about one important aspect of human being that is not often discussed among Christian groups: emotional health.

Reading this encourages me to take a closer look at my self – my past, present, and dreams for the future. Because it requires a lot of self-reflection, I decide to read it at a slower pace. It has been two weeks and I’m now at chapter six where it talks about journey through the Wall. A Wall refers to situation that happens to us beyond our control, whether we like it or not. The journey through the Wall is, well, a lot easier said than done. It will bring us to face what’s possibly our greatest fear, it will force us to trust God completely and to keep moving through hardship without any certainty of when it will end.

 I feel this chapter represents where I am now. I am on a journey through the Wall.

Growing up I was taught to always have an answer to everything. To say “I don’t know” is a sign of ignorance and incompetence. Going through my teenage and early adult years, I always tried to keep up with things, or, at least, seem like it, plan things and anticipate events. It was okay until I have too many things to plan, take care of and anticipate! Work, family, friends, church…they became too much to handle.

 I have been in situations where I simply had NO CLUE what to do and that was horrifying. I had a dream of being in my twenties and in a committed relationship that eventually leads to marriage, but that did not happen. At work I met people that I found hard to work with and every possible solution seemed to be so impossible. I asked myself “Why?” and “How?” only to find that I did not have the answer. Trust me, it is a perfectionist’ worst nightmare.

When everything else around me, or in me, seems to be out of control, I find that God is still in control. In spite of my unbelief or mountains of worry and fear, God has never let go. This journey will require me to trust Him, fully and wholeheartedly, because only then will I be able to endure.

Below is an excerpt from the book. This story reflects just how little control we have over life.

“There is an old story about a wise man living on one of China’s vast frontiers. One day, for no apparent reason, a young man’s horse ran away and was taken by nomads across the border. Everyone tried to offer consolation for the man’s bad fortune, but his father, a wise man, said, “What makes you so sure this is not a blessing?”

Months later, his horse returned, bringing with her a magnificent stallion. This time everyone was full of congratulations for the son’s good fortune. But now his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a disaster?”

Their household was made richer by this fine horse the son loved to ride. But one day he fell off his horse and broke his hip. Once again, everyone offered their consolation for his bad luck, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this is not a blessing?” A year later nomads invaded across the border, and every able-bodied man was required to take up his bow and go into battle. The Chinese families living on the border lost nine of every ten men. Only because the son was lame did father and son survive to take care of each other.

What appeared like a blessing and success has been a terrible thing. What has appeared to be a terrible event has often turned out to be a rich blessing.”

– Wayne Muller, Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives (New York: Bantam, 1999), 187-188.